Saturday, March 14, 2009

Hurricane Clean-up

How does the wreckage of life pile up so quickly and so deep that I can barely search to find an airway? Just when I think God may be clearing a path so that there is a break in the devastation, we run into all new piles of trash and destruction to dig through and climb out of. When does God allow His people breathing room? When do the people who love Him and follow Him get a chance to rest in His grace and bask in His glory? I realize that heaven is the time and this is not the place, but a glimpse here and there would help strengthen hope and deepen the desire for eternity. It's never a good idea to get comfortable. Every time I start to think things may be turning around another wave crashes over me and I can't see the shore. It can be something as simple as a memory or something as major as losing my baby boys. God is sovereign and I have to remember this. Nothing I do or think do I have the possibility of viewing its results in 3D. However, God sees them from all angles and positions and knows the beginning and the end before I approach the thought.

When? In heaven. I am only granted glimpses of heaven through His grace and mercy. I get so caught up in my little piece of life that I forget that it's not really about me. It's not about what I do or say and nothing I can accomplish is seen as anything more than filthy rags to the Savior of my soul. He does not care about my good works or my striving toward being a 'good' person. Jesus wants my heart and that means my whole being, not just my mind or my spirit or my emotions. Christ is standing beside me and He is patient, never silent and always loving. I need only remember the heights from and the depths to which I have fallen to recognize the immeasurable love my Savior has for me.

When does the destruction cease? When does the hurricane end? Only God knows and in His sovereignty I must trust that He sees the big picture and in eternity I will see the masterpiece He has created through my ups and downs, my trials and my triumphs, my struggles and successes. Above all, He has created a precious daughter whom He longs to be in constant relationship with and desires nothing that I have. He just wants to know me. After all He has done and sacrificed for me, nothing I can do or give comes remotely close to comparison of the love and devotion I have been given. It was freely given, but at the cost of His life. How can I do anything but devote my life to serving Him and sharing the love He has for all His children with those who have yet to experience His perfect peace? Whatever brings you glory!

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