Friday, April 13, 2012

Happy Birthday Cadyn Jo!

Three years...has it really been that long!? I remember it like it was yesterday! God has given me such an incredible adventure to live. Do I feel the pain of losing my baby girl? Every day. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of what life would be like with my precious CJ. And yet God has blessed me with children to love and devote my time to that would not be a part of my life if Cadyn were here for me to raise. God has opened my eyes in so many ways over the past three years. I do not understand and yet I trust. I don't always like it, but I am not ashamed to say that I share that dislike with my Lord everytime it rears it's sometimes ugly head! Times have been tough and our walk has not been easy but my Lord has carried me through each difficult moment. As I reflect on the last three years, I am grateful. I am sad that I do not have my baby here for my selfish reasons, yet I am so thankful she is perfect and righteous and has to feel no pain.

Life comes at you in ways you don't expect. The storms of life blow in and in a moment the warm sun has been overshadowed by the dark clouds of pain and the winds of adversity blow but the strength of my Lord has held me to the ground and kept me steadfast on the path to heaven. I am not saying life has been all roses! Far from it actually. Yet the promise of seeing my precious Cadyn has given me something to look forward to when the wind blows and the rain is pelting my face.

Are you facing the rains and winds of life? I know the weather can be such a stress for my body because of the changes it invokes when my muscles ache and my joints get stiff. But how much does the weather of my spirit influence my daily life! When I invite the Lord to walk through my day, the tornadoes of pain and fear can swirl and yet the weather in my soul is clear and beautiful. Take heart, my friend. The joy of the Lord can always bring the warmth of the Son!