Friday, May 25, 2012

Five Year Plan

Remember when you were ready to graduate high school and everyone was making plans to go to college or find a job and settle into life as an 'adult' but really we were just looking for freedom from parental figures and a chance to make our own decisions...even if they were poor ones!?  I was asked by many, "What's your five year plan?" and though I knew I was going to Ju-Co and wanted to play volleyball, I hadn't thought too far beyond that.  Well.  I was not given a scholarship because a certain coach thought I was too short to play and I didn't perform well under pressure that day.  I had not applied to any other school, so my options were pretty limited.  I went and ultimately played two years, which if you are doing the math, means I went to junior college three years.  At the start of my second year of Ju-Co, I met a boy.  We were almost complete opposites, except we both loved Jesus and wanted to live our lives for Him. I didn't expect to fall in love with this boy, who was truly a man living for Christ.  I didn't expect to get married and I certainly didn't expect to be expecting our first child on our one year anniversary.  So, in answer to the question about my five year plan, well, the first five were not at all what I would have planned!!  Thinking back over the most recent five years, I wonder if a five year plan would have done any good in either case.  The past five years have been full of hopes and wishes I would have never thought possible and pain and heartache I could not explain, but would not trade a single moment for all the money in the world.

Our last five years have been so full of mountaintop experiences and dark, silent valleys. Through it all, we have seen the hand of God move and grow us in ways we can't explain and couldn't have imagined.  We have changed in ways no one would have imagined, including us. We have faced trials and triumphs, successes and sinkholes, failures and feeble moments of doubt.  So often I think of the past five years and relate to the song lyrics that say, "I say Amen, but it's still raining." I am cognizant of the truth that God could wipe away the pain and clear up the storms in my life with the blink of His majestic eye.  However, I know that He wants only good for me and doing so would only hinder my chance at glorifying Him and my chance at hearing those words, "Well done, Amber. Well done." would not be possible without the struggles and opportunities God has given me and our family to grow and succeed at glorifying my Father.

As we approach this holiday weekend, I wonder where God will take us as our lives unfold. I wonder what the next five years will bring.  I wonder many times what the next five minutes will bring! ;)  At any rate, I look forward to the work God is doing in my life and I press on toward that goal that I know God has already prepared for me in heaven.  To see His face, His sweet and gracious face!

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