Last week, I got the call from the doctor who delivered our precious Cadyn just short of two months ago. The genetic testing results were in. The wait was finally over, my fears of something being genetically wrong could finally be answered one way or the other. My mind spun. I couldn't breathe as I awaited the results...then she said it. NORMAL. I'm happy, right? Well, yes, but what happened to my sweet baby if it weren't genetic? Then her tone changed and she told me I better sit down. The room was spinning, the noise of my older kids playing in the basement disappeared. All that stood between 'the news' and me was a phone line. Then she said it. I shut out the words. I denied it. I cherished it. I was left speechless in the middle of my bed. I could not talk, I could not cry, I could not feel. Our precious Cadyn was a girl. I never got to hold her precious hands, knowing she was a girl. What? I saw the male parts. The doctor saw them. The pathologist saw them. How could this be? There must be some mistake. Did the tests get switched? Maybe there was a misprint on the results, maybe it was wrong...
No. Cadyn, my precious #6 was a girl.
What do I do? How do I change what my mind was set on? When does the pain subside? How will I tell the kids? So many questions swirled through my head.
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